I think about the love that I want next in my life. I don’t want to be anyone’s lesson. I don’t want to be their wake-up call. I don’t want to be repeating the invitation to step into healing, to step into togetherness, to step into potential. I want my next love to be gentle. I want it to be genuinely co-created and co-cared for. I want that other person to bring new ideas and new awakening to me as much as I do to them – not because I’m struggling in their presence, but because I am held.
I know I can give that kind of love to myself, and I can be that safe space for myself, so I’m not letting anyone else in if it looks like I’m going to be their mentor. At least not any more than they are going to be mine. It’s time for me to get back some of what I give. Even if that’s just from myself.